John 3:16
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Or: "feel guilty because someone died for you, and go to church!" As nonsensical as it is, in my experience this has been the most quoted scripture in the whole bible. Something so powerful among christian believers needs to be analyzed, just in case they are right   This essay is in no way meant to disprove god. My goal is only to wreck the foundational logic that god sits on, and then let happen what may. So for the duration of this paper, I will write as if god does exist.

"For God so loved the world..."
Like that time he fucked everybody with a flood. I have to admit that having one human sacrifice is pretty loving compared to wiping out everyone on the planet.

"...that he gave his only begotten son..."
Christians that believe god, jesus, and the spirit are all the same person and different people all at the same time have got to be joking. If they refer to each other as different people and all reside in the same conciousness, I believe that is called split personality disorder. Since they are the same "person", and god is sacrificing his other self, and god is eternal and can't die, then no one actually died and no real sacrifice was made.
Sacrifice - the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim. - dictionary.com
When the jesus personality "died" on the cross, what was lost? Everybody dies, and many people die for something they believe in. The only difference is normal people stay dead. They actually give something up. God, on the other hand, sent himself (or his child) to earth to be killed and sent back to heaven. Thats more of an inconvenience than a sacrifice.
Some christians actually accept the idea that god, jesus and the spirit are seperate beings. In that case, jesus still died and went to heaven and didn't really lose anything other than a small portion of his eternal life. But the real problem with this is that god "sacrificed" his child. I don't have kids, but if I did I sure as fuck wouldn't send them to be sacrificed. I would either go myself, or put a stop to the sacrificing situation. This leads to the conclusion that god is an asshole, or dieing for the worlds sins wasn't bad enough that god felt the need to prevent it.

"...that whosoever believeth in him should not perish..."
This should have said, "...whoever believeth men with agendas that tell you about him..."
We have some poorly written book, and a bunch of arrogant assholes telling us what to do with our lives and that is supposed to convince us to give up our souls to god? Since the bible could have easily been orchestrated by the devil, and we have no reason to think it wasn't other than things written in the bible (hmmm, very odd.), maybe we shouldn't just blindly follow it. Hypothetically, you are selling your sould to someone you have never meet and only know about from an old barbaric book, and "comforting feelings" that HE gives you.
God tells you (through his book and preachers) he can't lie.
Therefore everything god says is true.
God tells you that he is good and the devil is bad.
Therefore god can not be evil and the devil (or things associated with him) can not be good.
These are not sound arguments. In fact they are obviously terrible arguments, possibly the worst ever. Fucking what the hell? Pascal's wager can eat a dick when christians toil in gods slave labor camps while atheists just go have filthy sex parties in FSM heaven.
"What about all the good god does?
The good that some people following god do? It's great, but god doesn't actively take credit for anything he "does". His followers give him credit for good things. Read the Old Testament and count how many people die when god is angry.

"...but have everlasting life."
Well, is god not powerful enough to give everlasting life without a human "sacrifice" first? How does that make sense at all? God could have easily blown up saturn for our sins instead. Fuck saturn straight to hell.
And why would anyone let someone else take the heat for thier sins? Assholes? Jesus suffered for your bullshit, and you let him. Suffer for your own god damn sins.

In conclusion, this may be the dumbest scripture ever. Take it off of your signs at ball games.

-Optimus Christ

P.S. Any douchebags that copy paste this and make an ass of themselves because they have no idea what the fuck I was talking about and cant defend it need a solid punch in the face.

Posted by: Optimus Christ at 12:24 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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